My life thus far

Finally, I'm done with my papers. For the first time in my life, I mug like crazy even in poly the least i did was stay up late and woke up early to refresh my memory. This time round, everything felt like it was a rush, nothing gets into my head easily anymore. I think I'm getting old. =( Never thought i had to juggle my time with work and studies so much. It's been a tough month and I'm glad i made it through. Along the way, I broke down, had too much to think about and unexpected things happened. So thankful for those that comfort me, gave me a place to pour out my feelings.

Can't wait to have a quiet getaway with pam, with a book and just by ourselves, exploring places we never been before. Plans for high tea and food, getaway with family, meeting all my other friends and having alone time by myself too!

Some times people's insecurities, feelings and doubts are so strong for one to handle them. Why do people have to make things seem so complicated when in actual fact is much simpler. I always have two side talking in my head, what i should do and what I'm feeling at that point of time. Some times i even think that everything is my fault that I'm the cause of troubles. Some times i just lose myself, not sure of what i should be doing next. Some times i secretly hate myself for thinking so much but what to do, its my mind. I can choose to push it aside and not think about it or i can continue bathing in my thoughts and eventually sink with them. There's always a choice, it's up to one person to decide.

The You Inside

This is you, building walls around you, so high no one can ever touch.

Goodbye Sunday, Hello Monday

It's finally sunday! Tomorrow will be a fresh new week.

Going to start my week right by having positive thoughts. I have been thinking way too much, that i feel i'm  such a burden to some people. Like some small lost kid, really hate the idea of me being like that. I need to find my way back slowly. I know i will, not now but soon. I just need a little sorting out of things and learn to let go. Just going to take one thing at a time as the days goes by.

This week have been a long and tiring week. Would really want to find one day after my exams to go to some place with good scenery to relax my mind and soul. Meet people who i haven met for ages and catch up on each other's life. Another week to final exams, i'm feeling so stressed up. My boy blocked leave this week and i'm unable to spend time with him. Major sadness but i can't do anything about it, just have to squeeze in whatever time i have then. 

Someday everything will make perfect sense. So, for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason. Just live life to the fullest.

Emotions

Overwhelm by emotions. 

Pen down my thoughts yesterday and today during train rides because i think it's time to write it down somewhere. To face the things i decide to run away from the minute it came to me. So many whys but no answers to them. This is what c told me. I guess its right. I kept asking myself about things i have no idea where to get the answer. It will kill me slowly was what she said. I'm just glad she did. I haven been quite myself lately, worrying about little things in life. A told me i dazed sometimes, now that i think about it. Yes i did, once in a while i would just stare into space. I don't know where to find back the happy me now. It seems like every corner i turn, i'm greeted with something that upset me. It's so sad to see this. It hurts too much to be sad. It hurts too much to see the ones i love around me sad. These tears, i cant stop them. 

Happy Birthday Issac.

I promise you, i'll take care of her, i'll be there for her. Always.

Please look after her from up above. Thank you for making her so happy and loving her.