Reflection

Someday everything will make sense

It's been a while since i have chop off a good amount of my hair. Feel younger these days and some friends of mine had commented that i look younger! Feel so good to hear these words haha. Anyway, just going to blog a bit for now while waiting for my video to load and time to get ready for tonight's FN Christmas party! Dress code is Dress to Impress and i really have nothing new in my wardrobe so i am just going to pick any dress that i will look good in. Been thinking if i should spend my money on shopping and most occasion i actually will give up and not spend but i really do find my wardrobe boring now! So maybe i will then, so fickle minded me. 

Everything that has happen, some of us grew stronger, some still haven left their comfort zone and people still trying to figure things out and making them right. But what is right to me ain't right for someone else. I learn so much from people, how I am still so trusting to people at times. When you are in a situation where you are so blinded by the things around you compare to someone out of it. They see things so clearly other people can't. My gut instinct always turns out to be right. I hope they are wrong some times. 

Mini Updates

Hi, I'm back! Lack of updates in this space and I have been so lazy to transfer pictures from my camera and iphone. And using my new laptop while all my other things are still in the old one. Makes me even lazier to get all the things into the new laptop. Shall not procrastinate anymore and start doing them. Just lazing around at home almost every day. Just watch finish one korean drama in one week time! Going to start working tomorrow onward, shall not keep myself at home it's making me shut out of the world and just be alone kind hahaha. I always love being around people, it makes me happy!

My weekends was spend with alvin, had a staycation and just eat and relax only! Met sheryl and winston for movie, Pitch Perfect! This movie is so awesome everyone just got to watch it! Was laughing and smiling during the show cause i was just so amaze by their voices. Don' mind catching it again if any of my friends wants to watch it. Then my manager's wedding on sunday afternoon where i get to see most of the FN girls!

Life as it is

I guess it's alright since this is what I wanted or wish to happen and it has I just have to accept it. I may have my own protective or selfish thoughts cause I'm afraid of getting hurt or losing someone. And if I'm always scared of this I'll just push more people away from me. This is not what I want, what I want is to have everyone around me be happy always. I'm taking the risk, I'm getting myself out there. Even if I were to get hurt, at least that's a lesson learn. If I'm scared, I'll just lose people. If I'm brave, I might just be able to keep them by my side.

Thoughts @ 0030

Had such a fulfilling day today and there was time to relax and just travel from one place to another! Such things don't come by so often and I'm so happy with the whole day. The company was just awesome, talking about everything under the sun. Felt good to have said things out instead of keeping them inside me and listening to words of advice. The scenery was so comforting as well, i can just sit there and stare into the sky thinking of nothing but how amazing everything is. It's good for me, something from the usual going to town, shopping and eating. This however, i found happiness. Haven felt such happiness for a while now and the whole day was just filled with laughter and smiles, no worries at all! I'm going to make an effort to have this kind of outing from time to time.

This time round i had my own insecurities, felt out of place which i always encounter once in a while which left me feeling awful. But it's okay now, because at the end of the day I'm important even if I'm not to others but to myself at least i am. It's amazing how my bf can read me and understand me before i know it myself. Sometimes I wonder if I am that easy to read or he just know what is bothering me faster than i do. He sure is amazing :) 

edit/
maybe i am sensitive to things these days. The words "it's expected to happen" scares me, two person told me this but that two person talk me out of it. Its comforting to know that it happens to bbg before and there she is now giving me advice for me but yet i'm afraid that things will end up bad too. What can i say, what can i do, how to react, i really don't know. I guess I'm sticking to take things one at the time and just let it go. It's quite contradicting that one minute you can say this and the other feel something else. Oh well, the mind and heart never work well together. Mind over matters.

Things fall apart so that better things can fall into place

My life thus far

Finally, I'm done with my papers. For the first time in my life, I mug like crazy even in poly the least i did was stay up late and woke up early to refresh my memory. This time round, everything felt like it was a rush, nothing gets into my head easily anymore. I think I'm getting old. =( Never thought i had to juggle my time with work and studies so much. It's been a tough month and I'm glad i made it through. Along the way, I broke down, had too much to think about and unexpected things happened. So thankful for those that comfort me, gave me a place to pour out my feelings.

Can't wait to have a quiet getaway with pam, with a book and just by ourselves, exploring places we never been before. Plans for high tea and food, getaway with family, meeting all my other friends and having alone time by myself too!

Some times people's insecurities, feelings and doubts are so strong for one to handle them. Why do people have to make things seem so complicated when in actual fact is much simpler. I always have two side talking in my head, what i should do and what I'm feeling at that point of time. Some times i even think that everything is my fault that I'm the cause of troubles. Some times i just lose myself, not sure of what i should be doing next. Some times i secretly hate myself for thinking so much but what to do, its my mind. I can choose to push it aside and not think about it or i can continue bathing in my thoughts and eventually sink with them. There's always a choice, it's up to one person to decide.

The You Inside

This is you, building walls around you, so high no one can ever touch.

Goodbye Sunday, Hello Monday

It's finally sunday! Tomorrow will be a fresh new week.

Going to start my week right by having positive thoughts. I have been thinking way too much, that i feel i'm  such a burden to some people. Like some small lost kid, really hate the idea of me being like that. I need to find my way back slowly. I know i will, not now but soon. I just need a little sorting out of things and learn to let go. Just going to take one thing at a time as the days goes by.

This week have been a long and tiring week. Would really want to find one day after my exams to go to some place with good scenery to relax my mind and soul. Meet people who i haven met for ages and catch up on each other's life. Another week to final exams, i'm feeling so stressed up. My boy blocked leave this week and i'm unable to spend time with him. Major sadness but i can't do anything about it, just have to squeeze in whatever time i have then. 

Someday everything will make perfect sense. So, for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason. Just live life to the fullest.

Emotions

Overwhelm by emotions. 

Pen down my thoughts yesterday and today during train rides because i think it's time to write it down somewhere. To face the things i decide to run away from the minute it came to me. So many whys but no answers to them. This is what c told me. I guess its right. I kept asking myself about things i have no idea where to get the answer. It will kill me slowly was what she said. I'm just glad she did. I haven been quite myself lately, worrying about little things in life. A told me i dazed sometimes, now that i think about it. Yes i did, once in a while i would just stare into space. I don't know where to find back the happy me now. It seems like every corner i turn, i'm greeted with something that upset me. It's so sad to see this. It hurts too much to be sad. It hurts too much to see the ones i love around me sad. These tears, i cant stop them. 

Happy Birthday Issac.

I promise you, i'll take care of her, i'll be there for her. Always.

Please look after her from up above. Thank you for making her so happy and loving her. 

Thoughts @ 0100

When you encounter something or some thing just hit you hard in your head that you start to realise. I never felt this lost in my life. I have no idea what I want to achieve in life. At times i still wonder if i had choose the correct path for myself. Going into uni is so much different from when I'm in poly. The way you are being taught, to how different the environment is. It's so much harder to cope in uni than in poly. Had price and market test on Tuesday, I totally had no confidence in it. It's so bad to the point I feel stupid. I'm never a smart person but I know I will work hard to achieve good grades. I know I need to buck up and revise but yet I'm lazy to do them. But this time round I'm starting for sure. I don't want to have to do last minute work, stress myself up or have to feel lousy again. I need to actually find out what drive me to achieve what i want in life. Even though I don't want to grow up too fast but I still have to. Got to start using my brain into good use. No more play time, it's time to work hard and have fun at the right time.

Perseverance is what i need most now.

Accounting test tomorrow. I have yet to finish studying and i just don't have the mood to do so. Going to force myself to do so and hope i can do well. On a side note, ordered my dress and it's on its way already. Now i just have to reconfirm the theme and settle the catering, cake and decorations. So much to do so little time. I'm already half way drained in August. The month of September will be one tiring journey. 

July

Hi everyone! School and work are draining me off this week. Thankfully i don't have class today and can just rest at home. Got to start studying real soon cause my tests are just around the corner. Hate business statistics. If so hard to do them, i got a headache just by trying to solve them. Accounting was still manageable, i just need to brush up on my theory part and a little bit on the application and i'm good. For price and market module, i'm totally lost! Yesterday, i had one lesson and i was so freaking tired plus i'm having flu/blocked nose the entire day that nothing was getting into my head. It's just blank!!! =(

Sigh. 

On the side note, I have tons of pictures from my iphone. It just accumulate through the days.

One of the days, went to nydc with huili, irene and cherie for high tea after class. Had my first proper meal of the day accompanied with a slice of cake to end it. 

Had yuuki in my arms, sleeping while my brother drive us to school. 

His first bath which he dislike. I thought dogs like bathing?

Sleepyhead.

Always running around and then just KO at one corner of the house. 

Lunch for break!

In lace top and blazer. =)

Met my mum for dinner and we had korean food! Craving for korean food because of watching running man where those episode has their signature food in them make me feel like eating them!

OOTD

Met up with this boy for a while before heading to our next appointment. Miss my poly friends so much, hope to see them real soon.

Friday's outfit before work starts. 

Saturday's outfit.

Used my new blusher and had the worse experience of my life! The brush only concentrate on one place and i look crap and had to wash off my make up and redo them. In the end my blusher was much better but it's super bright!  Need to have more practices with it. Met my boyfriend in town and had EWF for lunch and went into forever new with a new platform and iphone cover. Had dinner with his family before catching Batman at ehub. IT'S SO GOOD! but a bit too long, was getting a little restless cause it's so late. Poor boyfriend of mine, he watched the movie already and accompanied me to watch but he was so tired that he slept half way in the movie. 

Tuesday was suppose to see the boys off for their enlistment. But end up not even seeing them at all which makes me even more depressed. Was so pissed off or angry that day. I rushed after school, get down the mrt to catch a cab and the journey there took even longer than the train. Nothing just went right. After that had lunch before heading home to rest a while and head out for work again. Glad that it was the last day of the month. 

August, please be good to me. =)

xoxo, Till then

Lazy week

Hi everyone! I'm back for updates! No school for today and yesterday! Felt nice staying home and just doing nothing but catch up on running man. I want to watch pretty little liars too!

Outfit of the day

Charm Bracelet which is my current favorite accessories 

New bag for school!

So Saturday i had morning lesson at 8.30am. Was so freaking tired but lucky my dad send me to school along with yuuki who slept in the car. After class i hang around before meeting alvin as he was only at home when i called him after class. Reason: It's raining and he doesn't want to bring the umbrella out!

We head to Holland V for brunch at Hatched! YAY! My first time there and the food was not bad. However, the portion is too little for Alvin. He wasn't full after that. Then the best part was, I GOT CUPCAKES FROM PLAIN VANILLA! AWESOME CUPCAKES EVER! Everyone should give this cupcake a try really super nice! I bought a dozen of them and it cost me $36. Amazing that i would spend that amount on cupcakes. But worth every penny of it! In the end i ate 4 cupcakes in total! 

So now there is a additional mouth to feed in the family. His name is Yuuki, a Japanese Spitz. Going 9 weeks old. Super naughty and keeps biting people whenever you touch him. Sleeps a lot in the afternoon and super greedy boy when it comes to food. 

On monday, shaun came to crash my lecture and he ended listening as well. After which we head to town to have dinner with elena before her class starts at 7pm. Bought a blusher and eye make-up remover from sephore. Then it's home as i have a 8.30am class the next day. 

Had work on tuesday and i'm in super bright red and blue! Was wearings heels initially, but changed to flats because it's really tiring and the heels is like super high! Should find a pair of heels for work. 

Feeding him apple to eat.

This just came in the mail today!

Alright that's all for now!

Photos Overload

Hi everyone! I'm back from blogging! hehehe.

Head to Marmalade Pantry at ion for lunch before work with my mum and sister. The food wasn't as great as i expected to be. It's just pretty normal. 

It was Matt's birthday and after work i met up with rosy and matt first to go down to holland v to have dinner with the rest of the boys. Elena came with issac for a while before leaving for their movie date. Had pizza for dinner! Then we bought everything with fries cake for matt and for me and rosy for dessert! Sadly we couldn't finish it and ask the boys to help us finish.

New lip colour for work!

Met laopo after such a long time! Had dinner, chi chat and walked around town! Was looking for good lighting to take pictures at ion but couldn't find one! 

Head to raffles city for high tea with my mum after her work! Went to canele and had their desserts! The cake and macaroons was super nice! Sucker for sweet things! Got a coach coin purse which can put my ezlink card in it. 

 

Had a awesome day with elena dear! We went to have high tea! And it's awesome! Plus it's quite cheap for two person? The bill add up to about $50+? Gosh! I'm having too much high tea session lately should stop it already! Walked around in town after that, basically town has nothing much to do anymore! Some more the two of us work in town also so it's becoming more boring already. 

The weekend before my mum's birthday i brought her out to treat her a meal but before that i went to parkway to cut my hair as the ends are really dry. I have always love long hair a lot but it's just seem so boring once in a while. Oh well, i doubt i'll do anything new to my hair. Wanted to go town and bring my mum to try this new place i have found but cause it was quite late and it started to rain heavily so we were start at parkway. Decided on Ichiban boshi for dinner and it was so good! We ordered a little too much and i had to finish all my meat! Felt so full after that! Birthday cake for my mum on her birthday!

That's all for now!
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